Namaste, fellow gamers; yes, it’s that time of the year again. It’s the winter season, and our mental states are gloomy. Well, worry not; we have something to cheer you up, or, must I say, to get your groove on. Read on!
Who said video games weren’t about sex? How can they not be? It’s guys who play them, why not? Well, they are, and some of them are rather tasteful indeed, and ill gamers always have an eye out for them. This is the list of the 10 sexiest women in video games.
Note: This list ranks women in video games solely by their sex appeal.
10. CATE ARCHER – THE BOND CHIC
Intelligent, witty, street smart, and sexy, Cate Archer, the spy protagonist from the No One Lives Forever franchise, has it all. She sports the funkiest fashion and has the attitude to pull it off, almost making her the coolest chic on the block. She’s the type your girlfriends would be jealous of, and the cool guys would be crazy about her. She knows exactly what she wants, and she’ll get it no matter what. She’s stubbornly irresistible. And she’ll teach you a thing or two about your very own geeky boy toy. Who said being suave was a man thing? This sexy spy can trump the smoothest billionaire kid with her blunt sharpness. She’s the most complete form of sexy on this list. Totally unique, she holds a place of her own that can be touched by none.
9. ADA WONG – SEXY, NAUGHTY, BITCHY
This stereotypical Femme Fatale from the Resident Evil series might, at first glance, come off as an upmarket, high-class escort, but don’t let her looks deceive you. Her ultra-sexiness is balanced by her bitchy touch-me-and-I’ll-hurt-you attitude. This statement is only a gaffe, as that attitude actually makes her even more sexy. She knows how to flaunt her assets, and she does it to perfection. Her gun-holster sits right up her right thigh, leaving her bare right leg completely exposed, and subtly revealing what shouldn’t be revealed. Someday Illgaming will make a “Top 10 Bitches” list, and she’ll top it. No one knows what she’s after or what she wants in life. She oozes a sense of mystery; maybe there’s a sad, sensitive person beneath that bitchy attitude. All said and done, she’s way out of your price bracket and your league.
8. MERYL SILVERBURGH – ALL WORK, A LITTLE PLAY
Meryl Silverburgh from the Metal Gear Solid series has been a longtime fan favorite. A petite and tough nut to crack, Meryl is a self-trained super-commando with excellent gun-handling skills and a great physique. She walks like a cat, has a great set of hips, and she drives all her fellow soldiers crazy. But no one may lay their hands on her, and you definitely don’t want to be in her bad books. She’ll give in to you provided you’re a man with a cause and a purpose (read: the solid-snake kind). She never flaunts her sexuality; you’ll have to earn it from her. She’s a challenge, and that alone makes her all the more desirable.
7. CAT WOMAN – YOU GOTTA EARN ME
A new entry to any Sexy Gaming Chic list, the inclusion of Cat Woman from Batman: Arkham City might come off as a surprise to many of you. Well, surprise or not, illgaming knows that you’ve thought of her in all dirty ways possible at the back of your head. Don’t lie, we can see it in your eyes. Cat Woman chose the deadly streets of Arkham over her broken home, and she uses her beauty to steal treasures and valuables. She will steal your shit, no matter how much you think she’s into you. She’s a trained lier and manipulator. Hell, even the great Batman has been deceived by our very own Cat Woman on numerous occasions. And yet Batman wants her. The Joker, Riddle, Bane, and any other Gotham megacriminals couldn’t outwit Batman, only Cat Woman has that trophy. And Mr. B can’t get enough of her. Her extremely dexterous and agile figure makes us wonder what all she is capable of, and I don’t mean in the combat sense. Her voice is drunken and sleazy, and her words are sharp. She’s that woman that men can never, ever get.
6. JILL VALENTINE – YOUR SECRET CRUSH
A survivalist, insanely calm and composed, yet ruthless enough to mercilessly slice gazillions of zombies Jill Valentine, an old timer from the Resident Evil series, is that next-door girl you secretly admired but never had the balls to say it to her. Every hot girl should be like her: modest, smart, and patient. Her looks are evergreen, and be it gamers or non-gamers, everyone admires her tube top mini skirt character so much that she tops almost every list in this category. She’s been a staple of the gaming world ever since she was introduced in 1996. Also, she’s your only bet if your town was ever invaded by zombies. What a scenario that would be: just you and Jill, all alone, fighting zombies. Ah, life can sometimes be so beautiful.
