What's the big F**kin deal with Mass Effect 2????

This article is exactly what it says. WHAT THE HELL IS THE BIG DEAL WITH MASS EFFECT 2? Why are all those big time gaming publishers (y’all know who y’all are) going “OMG THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER GAGAGAGAGA!”

OK, no doubt, Mass Effect 2 is a good game with state-of-the-art graphics, and a great storyline. But frankly, speaking from the bottom of my honesty genes, ME2 has offered nothing new when compared to Mass Effect 1. Lets assume there was no ME1 and all we had was ME2, then yes, I could say, ME2 is a ‘good’ game, but since that’s not the case, ME2 brings nothing new to the table, just a new story. I’ll explain.

So, June 2008, I was in my senior year of university, and my geek gaming community was all going gaga about the release of Mass Effect, a next-gen sci-fi action RPG. I was really, I mean, REALLY looking forward to playing it. Having watched the XBOX review a number of times, my anticipation was all over the roof.  So well, I went ahead and purchased this game. I started playing it, and I was impressed. The game had great production values, absolute Hollywood style dialogue play, great camera panning during conversations, it was an entirely new experience. Something I had never expected, or experienced previously, out of the gazillion games I’ve played. So it turned out, I was churning some 4 hours a day on Mass Effect. (The other 2 hours were spent on The Witcher; a future article will explain why The Witcher is an EXCELLENT RPG)

After my first 12 hours of gameplay, I started noticing the sheer “linearity” of how the dialogue and game play progress. Being linear is not good. especially in RPG games. The quests became as predictable as ever. But nonetheless, I was enjoying the game. It had a great “look and feel” to it. Plus, apart from that, it had a great battle system, and it was fun fighting. The player models were extremely detailed, and their armor looked really genuine, especially on curvy females, the armor really brought out their magnificent curves. Space females are gorgeous, and ME1 had pulled off its sex appeal really well.

Now, coming to the morality system. HOW BLOODY PREDICTABLE! I’ll call it foolish. Or shallow. The layman won’t see this. I’ll explain. In ME, if you say something good, you get points for your good side, which the game calls “Paragon.” You say something bad, you get points in your “Renegade” stats. Well this is, no doubt, a good system, but what’s lacking is wit. It’s just so simple to expect what points you will get with what you say. Let me illustrate. If in the game, a girl asks you, “How are you?” and you reply, “I’m fine’, you get Paragon points. If you reply, “Shut up bitch!” you get Renegade points. Why am I so predictable? Why? We’re not 3-year-olds playing this game. Give us some subtlety, some egotism in the wordplay, and then throw at us your points. Some unpredictability. What ME really demonstrated here was a lack of depth in its coding, i.e., not enough lines put up in the code. Dragon Age Origins does this perfectly. My character Theron (a male elf) has been trying to talk nice to this chic Morrigan, who’s a part of my squad, and yet she always disapproves of me. Why? Because that’s her character. She doesn’t like people playing nice with her or asking her too many questions. So ME1 may be a good game on the surface, but deep down, it doesn’t really have an ecosystem or intelligence.

The quests and side quests became extremely boring at the later stages of this game. It wasn’t the “gameplay” that was driving me on, it was just the story. And I hate it when that happens. You, want to finish a game just to know how the story ends. That’s shallow. That is what Mass Effect is. Rating the game, I’d give it a 7.5/10. for a new era in graphics, production, and the hard work done in dialogue play.

Now, the deal with Mass Effect 2. ME 2 was almost like a carbon copy of ME1. Just like 5% better graphics, 5% better battle systems, and 5% better production, THAT’S IT! not an overwhelming story either. The only new addition I liked was scanning through planets for resources. which again, compared to other RPGs out there, is shit, but compared to ME1, is a tad bit better. ME2 did have some nice characters, with really interesting backgrounds, and obviously the sexual tensions, but the ecosystem/core of the game is still too shallow, at least for us “hardcore gamers.”

My final words about ME2: You know how those big-time Hollywood releases like Terminator 3 are like? All flashy and sazzy, but no depth, right? Yes. That’s how Mass Effect 2 is. Nothing but some shallow piece of highly refined high-quality garbage. My rating of Mass Effect 2 is 4/10. F**k you critics who said ‘This is the best game of all time, etc, etc, etc.”